So it's been forever since I wrote, right? I know and a lot has happened. I'm really trying to forget those things, though, so I'm not going to bother to type them up. I'll tell you at least this much: Up until a few weeks ago, I was absolutely and purely depressed. I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. None of my friends, not even my closest ones noticed. It's all good though, I'm all right now. I've finally accomplished what I've been trying to do all along: let life flow. I'm looking forward to the positives of everyday and not caring about the eye's of others. I'm tired of being so easy to pity.

Labels: anxiety, blah, depression, gah, life, pity

I'm kinda sick right now, but feeling better.

I'm getting artistic; getting things done, but I have so much to say,

so much to do,

so little time.

Everything is flashing by in a blur and I'm just standing there without a sound. Drowning in my envy, hate, want, love, sorrow, joy and all those feelings in between. It's just a time where I just can't distinguish what is what and it's driving me insane. Exams are coming up but so is winter break. So much time gone; so little done and so many things missed.

My parents are also fed up with the B's I'm getting. I don't know what's going on and what to do, I mean, they're high B's, and I only have a few, the rest are A's. How can I please them? My mom just wants me to give up my best friends, be a shut in and stay with her. I just can't do that.  I will not let go of these precious friends. I've never defied my mom, can't she understand just this once how important they are to me? I don't care anymore wether theycare or not. Just screw it. I consider them my best friends and I'll keep it that way until they can say to my face that they don't care.

What do I do?I'm not nearly as depressed but--there's just something inside of me itching to get it out. I need to talk to a friend, but I'm too afraid.

Damn

 it 

all.

Labels: Friends, harsh, life, stuff, ugh

Dammit.

Dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!

Fuck life.

Labels: now, stfu

I saw Gabbz yesterday, we had some fun.

People in my guitar class were idiots as usual. The days were boring, but I got extremely embarassed today when we were talking about how we were going to paint and how my teacher, said she couldn't wait to see mine.

It was overall hard to get through today because I got lack of sleep. It wasn't because I went to sleep late, but while I was in bed I had this sudden excruciating pain in my foot. It felt like something or someone was bending it, trying to break it in half. It was so painful that I was thrashing around in bed and scratched up my palms from clenching them so hard. The pain dulled and came back a few seconds later. All this cycled throughout the night.

When I woke up I found out I got my period and that's most likely the culprit of the pain. Well, that's great. I definitely do not want to feel that pain again. Also, my hands froze over as I scrambled to wash the blood of my white PJ pants; my hands turned slightly blue!

Ugh, even worse I've had a killer cramp! Plus, somebody elbowed me in the boob and it hurts like crap.

I also did not get my P.O.W's done so yippee for doing all of that today.

On the other hand, since my school team is awesome [cuz' I'm in it] and everybody else's sucks [cuz' I'm not in it], we don't have to get sack lunches and play retarded board games next Friday! We get food from some restraunt [like subs & chicken fingers] and get to sit wherever we want and paint and watch a movie [a new one at that!] best of all we get to socialize as much as we like! Yippeeee :]

BUT THIS CRAMP STILL HURTS LIKE HELL!

PS: I think later this day I'll upload the summary of my new comic, and it's completely planned so I just have to draw it now. It's about a murderer.

Labels: cramp, Gabby, is, life, pep, period, rally, school, stuff, ugh

Everytime I do the same thing.

Put myself down, hold myself higher.

Just can't take this anymore.

Please, someone..


Kill me now.

Labels: god, why

I have a really close friend coming over today.

I have a really close friend not coming over today.

I get mad.

Douchebaggery on my part ensues.

Miranda's coming over; don't know bout' Lauren...

Labels: Aniqa, Friends, Gabby, Lauren, Miranda

I took the S.A.T today.

I prayed, prayed, prayed to god and thank goodness I did. I had a little trouble with math but the Language arts was easy. Hopefully now I'll be getting an Iphone and contacts~! <3<3